Nunguni- my home

Yuta (who preferred to be called Judas Iscariot) was the main man at ever night vigil we observed. He was the man who always stoked the embers at funerals. He made us forget that the following day we would be interring/ burying one of us.

Like a loose branch, properly socked, swaying under the influence of the stuff he, without fail, day in, day out, had imbibed at Nunguni, That place, The place near what the locals called Mujinga high school, Yes Kwai Vavai, Kwa Mbaa musiu, would regale us with tales of how he betrayed the messiah. He would narrate tales of 30 bob for Jesus Christ, Tales of how he left (divorced) his Turkana wife for slaughtering his beloved dog. (He told us that the dog was called Mainduzi- according to him, it was the best Avocado seeking dog he had ever owned.)  Yuta, who was the best lumberjack  I have ever met  would boast of his Massive saw. He spoke of, with precision and to our mesmerized brains, his favourite saw. The 700 teethed saw…yes that was Yuta.  He would speak of how he had schooled with Kipkalias Arap Ng’eno. The same Ng’eno (who according to him)  had a paunch so bid that he would not scratch it with his bare finger nails afraid that it would burst.  He would say, “  Nasoomaa na Kiplakalias Arap Ng’eno. Yu ena ivu inenene. Athuaa Ivu na usia nakwa nio vaa kwa Muteti Ndilaka Makunu…?    (I schooled with Kipkalias Arap Ng’eno but now, I am scouring the forest for  mushrooms) He would make us forget the sorrow of a funeral.  He was Yuta. Maybe as I recall him, one day, one time Yuta (who preferred to be called Judas Iscariot , the same Yuta  who would narrate tales of how he betrayed Jesus Christ  for 30 bob, Tales of how he left (divorced) his Turkana wife for slaughtering his dog.  The same yuta who  told us that the dog was called Mainduzi- (according to him, it was the best Avocado seeking dog he had ever owned.  I don’t know whether it had the specs of a hit seeking missile or not) 

Yuta, who as I recall him I tumble into  memories of, Kivini (the insane man who who kept reminding us that he was the most handsome man you have ever met ( glazing at a shop window. Hapo chic Jambo hotel, he would say (I mean kivini), Indi  kana kaa  ti kombe) He would be donning more than 77 pairs of trousers) …

Nunguni,  Nunguni… Kilungu,  When you land there, fear not of how you will get to heaven. How do you get to pearly gates of heaven? Fear not. Cosmas Mathuva  was always ready to assign you a special number. A number to heaven. He had  tiny slips of paper that he distributed to all and sundry. In a soft voice, he would say,  “Kamwana nukwenda Kuthi Ituni? Kamwana osa namba ya ungaini.”  (would you like to get to heaven young boy? Here is your number.  I hope the registration number that he gave me is Valid. If not, St. Peter… get ready to explain)